I know this post is a little different than usual. I write a blog dedicated to sharing recipes and advice about cooking and entertaining, but this blog is also a reflection of my life. Sometimes I feel like ! share more intimate glimpses than other times, but ultimately this blog is me. And something very meaningful happened to me, and it would be very hard to let it pass me by without acknowledging it.
This past Friday, I lost my Saint Bernard, Henry. More importantly I lost my very best friend of 8 ½ years.
photo credit to Katie Simmons
This was Henry.
photo credit to Katie Simmons
It is funny how your love for an animal can transcend what you would have initially believed was possible.
Just looking at these photos while writing this post makes my heart burst with love and with pride for what a wonderful boy he was.
He was a rescue dog. I found him outside of a Starbucks when I had just moved back to Seattle in my 20’s. At 6 months old and 90lbs already, he was the most adorable thing I had ever seen. When I realized that he was living in a cage with people not prepared to care for him, it didn’t take much for me to throw him in the back of my car and bring him home with me. He and his big soulful eyes haven’t left my side since.
He was a poor puppy that was plagues with health problems the first half of his life: seizures, skin allergies, slipped discs and chronic vomiting and diarrhea. I searched high and low for explanations and eventually, as a last resort, was referred to an animal acupuncturist. With some hesitation, I started Henry’s treatment. The first thing the Dr. did was change his diet. I started making his food myself. Every two weeks I would make up a batch of steamed rice, and mix in ground turkey and whatever leftover vegetables I had in my refrigerator. Was I really going to start feeding him “people food?”
Within 10 days, he went from sickly to a bouncy puppy. No more seizures, no more hot spots, and much to my relief- no more messes! It was incredible.
With regular acupuncture and this diet, Henry went on to live 5 more healthy and glorious years without any more problems.
In my life with Henry, I have often thought of a quote that a friend shared with me many years ago after witnessing our bond:
“Strive to be the person that your dog believes you are.”
Henry was always there to listen, always there to support. He never got mad at me no matter how many walks I missed or how busy I was. And I can only assume that it was because he loved me in the same unconditional way that I loved him.
Henry was the smartest, most sensitive boy, constantly surprising and delighting everyone that met him. He was also terribly vain (lol!) and loved nothing more than to be approached by friends and strangers alike that would swoon over how handsome he was!
Henry was brave and sweet all in one. He let two little baby girls crawl over and under him.
photo credit to Katie Simmons
He took peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from their little sticky hands in the gentlest way, but went onto immediate alert when anyone walked by the yard when they were playing. If I was sick, he slept by bed side, only interrupting his snoring to check on me every so often. He was so brave he once chased a burglar from the roof of our old loft.
And in his last few months he was very brave indeed. He didn’t let us know until the last few weeks that he was even in discomfort. And when I went to have him checked for what I thought was a sprained ankle, I still believed to the core that we had years left together. Henry had girls to help me raise, walks to take, cheese quesadillas to eat, and warm breezes to feel on his furry face.
photo credit to Katie Simmons
But it wasn’t a sprained ankle. It was bone cancer. Aggressive bone cancer. And my heart felt as though it had broken into a million pieces.
When I let him go, I let him leave with his dignity, and surrounded by those who loved him most.
And while I am mourning him and trying to adjust to a daily routine without him, I don’t wish him back, (well most of the time!) because I really believe that he has gone somewhere better. I know that he is somewhere beautiful running and jumping without pain. He can eat all the treats in the world and spend hours wandering and sniffing.
photo credit to Katie Simmons
I know that people lose parents and children, siblings and spouses everyday. I can’t pretend to know that loss, and I don’t compare mine to theirs. I just know my loss, the loss of a beloved friend and a loyal companion. Anyone that has experienced the special love and the bond of a wonderful animal will understand what I am feeling.
I am enclosing the recipe for homemade dog food should anyone wish to experiment with the health of their canine friends. It made all the difference in the world for Henry, and I know many other dogs that have been able to go off meds, and turn their health around. I also know overweight dogs that quickly got to the right weight while eating this natural diet.
(this was how chubbers Henry was before he went on the new diet!)
*This more of a guide than a recipe as each animal is a different size and eats different amounts. I would make several weeks worth and then put them in tupperwear and freeze them.
Homemade Dog Food
Steamed Rice should make up about 50% of the food.
Lean turkey meat (sometimes I would mix in ground pork) should make up 30%
Vegetables 20% (I always have extra veggies on the verge of going limp in my fridge- I just chop them up or give them a whir in my food processor)
Mix it all together and serve warm or at room temperature.
By the way- for anyone trying to help their children with the mourning of a lost pet, this is a poem that has been shared with me and which my kids have found great comfort in. I suppose I have too 🙂
Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….
Author unknown…
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what an adorable puppy he was!! I know how much this big, huge mutt meant to you – your eyes would just LIGHT up talking about him! i am so sorry for your loss, but am glad that he had such a wonderful family for the past 8 1/2 years. lucky dog!
Oh!!! Thank you so much everyone!
I am so, so, sorry for your loss Heather. I have been there with several pets, and I know there is really nothing that can be said to make this time any easier. Henry was a gorgeous dog, and it sounds like he had a wonderful home with you during his time here on earth.
Heather, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I have always had dogs and cats in my life, so I understand your pain. Your beautiful post leaves no doubt of your love for Henry.
oh Heather I’m SOOO sorry for you loss!! I totally get your heart breaking in a million pieces over this……I would be the same way if it was my furball. {{{HUGS}}}}}
I’M SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS HEATHER. GOD BLESS YOU.
I lost my 12 year old Beagle this summer too, so I can really sympathize with your loss. He’s a gorgeous dog! Sounds like he was well loved.
Oh my… I’m so sorry you lost your Henry. Dogs bring so much to our lives. Absolutely never absent from our hearts…
Nothing like the companionship of a furry friend. I can see how much Henry was loved, what a beautiful happy dog. Hugs…
Heather this is a wonderful post. It even brought tears to my eyes. Henry touched my heart and soul in so many ways, I will miss him greatly. I love you boy, and im happy to have been given the chance to meet you! <3
Thank you Judy- he loved you very much.
So sorry about the loss of your beloved Henry! What a beautiful tribute to him – the love and bond with pets is something truly special!
Such a beautiful boy. What a gift he must have been to your life – and I’m sure he spent each day loving you to bits, knowing that you saved him. Beautiful tribute.
Heather, my heart is aching. Your tribute to Henry is beautiful and it would make your “best friend” proud.
Thank you everyone so much 🙂
This is such sad news. So sorry about Henry 🙁
Beautiful tribute Heather and wonderful photographs … thanks for sharing with us.
Awww, so sorry for your loss 🙁
Henry was such a sweetheart who loved you more than anything you could just see it in his eyes. Now he will keep watch over your family as your angel in heaven.
What a lovely post about your sweet puppy. I’m so sorry that you have lost him, but it sounds as though you brought each other much comfort and joy while he was alive.
So sorry for your loss. We lost our little friend to cancer last year. Sad times. Great post. Thank you for sharing it.
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful dog. I know he will be missed. I enjoyed your nice words and wonderful pictures. I hope you and your family can be happy for your time with him and life done here.
I’ve always thought that life here is the difficult part, after this, it’s a cake walk.
I think you are right Jen 🙂
Losing a pet is always hard, and that beautiful dog of yours looks so darn lovable. He’s in doggy heaven with my dog Humphrey right now tossing a bone about and looking cute 🙂
So sorry for your loss. Dogs just make life better.
So sorry for your loss Heather. Henry will not forget all the good times you shared with him and love you gave him.
I am so sorry Heather. I loved reading of your love of Henry. What true friends. Thank you for the recipe. My family just adopted a black lab mix named Hank and he has brought so much joy to us already!
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Henry. Such a beautiful tribute to him and I’m sure he’s having a ball in doggie heaven. I have two little dogs and can’t imagine my life without them. Dogs really bring so much love and joy to our lives.
What a beautiful tribute to your beloved Henry! So sorry for your loss and looking your lovely photos he had a very happy live with you and your family:)
Judit & Corina
oh Heather ~ i am so very sorry!! losing a pet really is like losing a member of our family – Henry looks like he was just the perfect match for your family in every way. hugs to you girl
I am so sorry for you loss. I have been there. It’s never easy.
What a love of a dog – I think you were both lucky to have each other. Losing a pet is never easy for they truly are a part of our family. But I am glad for Henry’s sake that he is no longer is pain and can romp and play to his heart’s content.
Heather, I am so sorry to read about the loss of sweet & adorable Henry. You are right, family pets become our children. It is beyond devastating to lose them. I hope you can recover quickly and enjoy the memories of such a wonderful dog.
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for your incredibly generosity in compassion, your kind words and your unwavering faith that he is somewhere wonderful 🙂
So sorry to hear about your sweet pup!
Sending many positive thoughts your way Heather. Henry was so handsome and seems like he had an amazing life with you. Dogs can be so much more than just pets.
Oh sweety. Losing a loved one is just that… just because the object of our love isnt human doesnt make our LOVE an lesser. Your tribute to him is beautiful!
your loss is huge. i’m so sorry you had to experience it. my cats and i send love and thoughts your way.
thank you so much to you and your kitty
We lost our Chase, who was my Henry, 7 years ago. He was our baby before we had our babies. We were devistated when we had to let him go at the age of 6. Interestingly he had many of the same health problems as Henry. I too never imagined when I took him to the vet That Monday morning it would be his last visit. They are indeed in a better place.
Oh Gayla, I totally believe that 🙂
I’m so sorry for your loss, our pets are a big part of our lives and have suffered the loss of several throughout my lifetime. It is something I don’t look forward to, but each pet is unique in its own way and while it is hard to lose a loved one (and I know, I cried for weeks after the loss of my last one), it is just as easy to fall in love with another so life goes on and we remember our past love and enjoy the present.
Shelby- that was so beautifully said. I read something that said “to be able to understand the great love of a pet, you will also have to feel the great loss”, I suppose it is all part of our life experience.
I am so so sorry. We have a new puppy and I’m already so attached to him, I just can’t imagine losing him. I’ll be thinking of you guys. Great post sharing your heart.
Gosh, I’m so terribly sorry. It is very hard losing a beloved animal. What a great life he had with you and your family. I will make this food today as I’ve wanted to try
making homemade dog food for a long time. Are the vegetables and meat cooked as well?
YES!! Everything is cooked and then I mix it together. I can’t wait to hear how it turns out for you, and if your dog likes it 🙂
I’m so sorry for the loss of your beloved Henry. I have two cats and I know someday we’ll be parted, but I try to enjoy them and love them every day.
I’m tearing up–our pets really are part of our families.
My condolences.
Jules
Dear Henry will always be in our hearts. Love never separates. Love is never lost. Henry was the perfect reflection of that love with his very sweet personality. Love will unite again!
Heather, I’ve been a lurker for a long time and am sorry to say I never commented. But I couldn’t read this post without commenting– my dog died of kidney failure just a month ago. The worst part about it is the guilt that I feel. Now that we know that his kidney was the problem, we realize he was showing symptoms months before. He had even been losing weight pretty drastically in the month or two before his death but even then we only thought to start making him homemade food, figuring he was just bored of his dog food. I am still wracked with guilt about how many walks we missed because we were too busy (he didn’t get outside for over a month before his death, I’m so ashamed to say), and how long it took us to realize that he was really sick. But I take comfort in the fact that he was most definitely, absolutely, loved. We had him for almost six years but to the end we never ceased to be amazed at how adorable he was, and took pictures of him almost daily. I loved him so much that sometimes I would just hold him in my arms and squeeze him until he started to moan.
I know that Henry was loved too, and that you and your family must have made him so happy. I know it’s really hard, but that is something you can always take comfort in.
Rumi- Thank you for writing that note. The beautiful thing about animals, is that their love is so pure. I don’t think that your doggy could have possibly felt anything but love for you. I know how you feel about the guilt, as I still can’t believe that I didn’t notice Henry had lost 20 pounds in a month. I too thought it was boredom with his food, and slathered everything in cheddar cheese and begged him to eat even if it was from my own hand- now I realize that sometimes we turn a blind eye because reality is too painful. In the end you chose what was the best, most loving thing for your doggy, as I did for Henry. It has been a week, but I still think about him (every hour of) every day and I probably will for a long time because that is what we do when we lose someone that we love. I just keep thinking he is somewhere SO much better! and some day I will see him again, “over the rainbow bridge.” XO, H
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of wonderful Henry. Our pets are such a joy and comfort in our lives. They give us so much more than we give them. My heart is with you.
We are so sorry to hear about Henry and glad that you gave him a good home! He was such a beautiful, sweet dog! I have sent your story to my three kids who have dogs and kids. One of the dogs, Henry, is a bordeaux mastiff. Two, Dewey and Cinnie, are border terriers. Ours, Buddy, is a chow/golden retriever mix that was saved by a phone call. We miss the dogs that have left our family. Each of them holds a special place in our hearts. Most of them have been rescue dogs. Thanks for your blog. Our hearts are with you and Henry.
Heather, I am so sorry to hear about Henry’s passing. Your words moved me to tears and I’m so happy to hear how incredibly rich he–a rescue dog that was once neglected–made your life. You rescued him and he gave you all sorts of love and understanding. What a blessing. What a beautiful tribute.
xoxo, Brooke
Heather, I’m just catching up on blogs since the kids went back to school. I’m sooo very sorry for your loss. I have a Golden Retriever that I love like crazy. I got him when my daughter (the 2nd of two kids) went to kindergarten and told my husband I needed another baby. Well, I got one!! And my daughter just started her sophomore year of High school! Our pets are a big part of the family, not just animals. It sounds like he was a part of yours and led a joyful and loving life. God Bless!
Oh Heather. I am so sorry about the loss of Henry. I know all to well the pain of losing a dog to osteosarcoma…my beloved Basil, a 6 year old Leonberger (also a giant breed), died of the same horrible disease. Love to your family.
I read your article and my heart goes out to you. I just found out about my Dog 71/2 yrs old has had seizures since 1/1/19 & I would like to make his food but a concern on the carbs in rice unless that. Is not a starchy. Ingredient compared to a starchy vegetable. I would love to have a recipe for my dig. I have faith this will elevate the medicine he has to have eventually to not take anymore it leaves him space and that isn’t his character.
Thank You
Linda Geer
Did u use raw meat or cooked meat?
Hi Bonny, I cooked the meat
My heart aches for your loss. I can feel and connect with you and Henry’s love. It’s amazing and just beautiful. I decided to welcome my first St. Bernard (BUDDY) after the loss of my daughter. Buddy is the most sweet, caring and gentle giant. I love him dearly and struggle at the moment to see him suffer. Buddy is 1year 4months and 25 days old. I’m currently feeling frustrated because he continues to have SEVERE skin allergies. I currently switch his dry food but I believe is getting worst than before. From the time of transitioning from puppy food to adult food I was giving Kirkland Signature Nature’s Domain Salmon Meal & Sweet Potato Dog Food. I decided to reach out to the breeder that sold him to me and she inform me of trying Purina Dog Chow Complete Adult with Real Beef Food. It has been a disaster because currently his skin is worst. I now need to make a decision of what food to give? I would like to go back to Kirkland’s dry food but I’m open to try anything else since at the time with Kirkland’s dry food he was still having allegies. I know I will stop today the Purina Dog Chow food for sure. But I would LOVE to hear any suggestions or tips in this matter. I’m truly at lost. I forgot to mention I have visited multiple veterinarians and they have not been able to help him fully. Please HELP!!!
I am going to try your recipe, we have a Berner that has seizures, allergies, skin issues. Worth a try!
So sorry for your loss, he was beautiful!! My daughter has 2 Saints!
Thanks
Tracy