For those of you who do not spend time on social media or follow me on Instagram where I have been sharing parts of this story (come follow me!) this will probably come as a bit of a shock! You may have noticed that I have been um, “not active” here for quite some time. I thought that I would share here what has been going on and what it looks like moving forward for me as I enter the next chapter of my life.
In the Winter of 2019- 2020 it felt like my entire life was being turned upside down. Even before the global pandemic reared its ugly head, turning everyone on theirs, our family was already in turmoil. A startup that my husband and I had founded with friends three years earlier had just folded and I was having trouble accepting that painful loss and reclaiming my identity. For the first time in my life, I couldn’t see my path forward. This was foreign and terribly uncomfortable as I had always enjoyed a bit of a superpower when it came to realizing my goals and pushing forward my accomplishments. Failing had never really been an option, and as I accepted a rather massive defeat, it was really hard and at moments rather heartbreaking to come to terms with. We were also heading into the second season of my daughter Coco’s TV show, which meant I was starting another year of splitting my time and my family up. The prospect of spending so much time away from my older daughter Pia and my husband to live in Canada with Coco was not sitting well. We were driving back and forth from Canada 1-2 times a week. I was exhausted and I was sick all the time. Strep throat, shingles (on my face!!), flared up food allergies and a general malaise became my normal. By late February, Pia had contracted what we now know was almost certainly Covid. But at the time all we knew was that she had a severe respiratory infection that would go on to last 3 months, with symptoms for a total of 9 months, leaving her with asthma. There was a lot going on.
But even amid these hardships, I know now that there were other forces at work. I know now that the uncomfortableness of change can be necessary and that sometimes it takes these hardships to realize it is time to change your path.
When the realities of Covid hit last March, we found ourselves hightailing it home from Canada and hunkering down like everyone else in our house. Months of being holed up together gave us all time to rest, to heal, to regroup and reevaluate what our future would hold. This led to us putting our beautiful house of 15 years on the market and selling it not long after. We felt ready for a change and used this sale to pry ourselves out of a life that was no longer making us our happiest.
We moved to British Columbia in July of 2020 because we knew that Coco soon had to go back to work and we had an essential worker Visa to help us over the border. We took whatever fit in two cars, putting everything else in storage and hit the road. We spent the rest of the summer up in the mountains of B.C. recovering from the largest life move, figuratively and literally, we had ever made. But those mountains healed us. It was the healthiest Pia had been in 6 months, and her chronic coughing receded with the fresh mountain air. I spent the two weeks of our government-induced quarantine sleeping and resting almost exclusively- something I have never given myself the luxury of. Pete became reinspired and started forming his next company. Coco was just happy to have her family all together and with her in Canada. And when we were past quarantine, we hiked, biked, swam, walked, and enjoyed every minute of the beauty of those mountains, I realized that I had not spent that much time in nature since I was a young child and that I loved it and the calm it brought to me.
It was during this time that I happened to be scrolling on Instagram and came across an old friend that was a recent Reiki Master and had just started teaching. While I have always had a deep interest in Spiritualism, which I got from my parents, I had NO idea what Reiki was. None. I had never even heard of it. But I was completely drawn to it and knew I had to take this class. When I finally did last September, after moving to Vancouver, BC, it changed my life.
What is Reiki? For those of you who are unfamiliar with Reiki, it is energy healing. It literally means “Universal Life Energy” in Japanese. If you think about the idea (and scientific fact) that everything is made up of energy on this planet, then it makes sense that we, who are also made up of energy, can move energy in ourselves and others. Reiki Healing is about making sure that the energy in our bodies is in balance and healthy. As a Reiki practicioner, you can deliver healing energy through your hands and even from a great distance. We are all born with the power to heal ourselves. I may deliver energy to you but your body will know just what to do with it. We are amazing in our capacity to heal!! After a Reiki treatment, it feels like after a massage- very relaxed. It can help clear emotional or traumatic blocks. But it can also help with physical ailments which are often tied to emotional trauma (even when we don’t realize it!)
I was delighted and enlightened by this tremendous gift of being able to contribute to healing myself and others. What I did NOT expect (can’t emphasize that enough!!) was that for me, in my specific individual case, Reiki was what I now refer to as the “gateway” to many other gifts that I had never considered could be a part of my life. I have been blessed with several psychic gifts as well as mediumship- which for me means being able to communicate with and receive messages from spirits who have crossed over. And that my friends, scared the absolute shit out of me. I spent the better part of 6 months fighting against the fear of what this new path would bring me. WHY ME!? How could I not know this until I was in my 40’s!? What did it mean? What would I do with it? What would people think of me? Who did this mean that I was now? Was it real? Was I sure? And that is just scratching the surface. But I continued to push forward anyway because everything in me was calling out for it.
When we wrapped up Coco’s show, with no ties to a specific city, we decided to take 5 months to regroup again and figure out our next step. We were relishing in the adventure of being mobile and wanted to try somewhere remote that we had not spent much time in before. This time we chose a very beautiful rural retreat in Napa, California. We were totally isolated on 40 acres of grassy meadows, forests of cedar and oak and beautiful hills, valleys, ravines and wildlife. In this quiet, nature-filled environment, my capacity for delivering Reiki grew and my psychic gifts began to flourish. I completed my second stage of Reiki and worked with several teachers and supportive groups of women who helped me explore and grow my other new gifts. The fear of the unknown began to recede and a joy I had never known was filling me.
By the time we got to Los Angeles this past August, I had made peace with this new path. The realization that this is who I am and that there is no going back was huge. I like the change. I like the person who I have become and the direction in which I continue to evolve.
This blog, which represents 15 years of nurturing and healing people through food will always be here and still remains very much a part of who I am and how I live my daily life. In fact, I can now recognize my sensitivities as a soul in the food that I cook and eat. There is a much stronger relationship than many may realize- certainly more than I previously did. I still cook and share on Instagram all the time, and will continue to add new recipes here when I feel inspired.
But It was important that I share this here, just so that those of you who are interested understand how this has evolved and where you can find me! I’m so excited for this next chapter and all of the people that I will get to connect within such a deeply personal way. I look forward as well, to teaching Reiki so that all of you who are interested can help facilitate healing for yourselves and those you care about.
I will soon add a link here to a small site where you can read more about what I am doing now and book sessions with me if you are so inclined. But for now, I just leave you with gratitude for making it this far into reading my long-winded over-sharing and hope for your support as I move forward with this healing work.